Chapter 1 (partial)

On the last several flights, I had been introspective. Not this one. I didn’t have the time or the inclination. The flight started well… at least until I got to my seat. There was a young lady with a baby sitting in the window seat. The baby was obviously in discomfort from the way it cried. Some baby cries mean they are hungry or need a diaper change.

This cry said I’m sick, Mummy, make me better!

Mother was rocking the baby, which was about two months old. It wasn’t working. She then opened the diaper bag to get something out. Her bag was a huge model, and she was having trouble opening it while holding the baby. In a moment of insanity, I offered to hold the child.

Big mistake! The handover wasn’t even complete, and the baby threw up all down the front of my suit, tie, and shirt. I have no idea how such a small kid could hold so much puke.

This got the attention of the flight attendant, who brought me a wet towel. This entire time people were boarding the aircraft and squeezing past. I didn’t mind the dirty looks, as I think they were deserved. I did mind the smell. The plane had been sitting in the sun on this warm day.

They hadn’t turned on the air in the plane yet, so it was very warm inside. The smell got worse and worse. Now, I only had a kit bag with me as I had clothes waiting at the other end, so I had no replacement shirt or tee shirt.

After handing the baby back to a mortified mother, I made a trip to the loo. There I removed my shirt and tee shirt and washed up. After that, I brushed my suit jacket off. Fortunately, the puke hadn’t penetrated deep into the fabric, so most of it was brushed off.

Coming out of the loo, I had my suit coat buttoned up, so I only looked semi-weird. I gave the shirts and tie to the stewardess to put in their trash. There was no way I was going to haul them around with me.

The tie was no great loss as it had the Lifeguard regimental stripe. I was with the RAF, so I thought it a fitting end.

Mummy was now breastfeeding baby, who, of course, was hungry now that nasty stuff was out of her tummy. I sat back down and closed my eyes and wished the flight were over. I was able to sleep for most of the trip or read a light novel.

Mummy apologized over and over. I finally told her all was forgiven and kindly please leave me alone. She told me she would be glad to but had a delicate question for me. I nodded my head to get her to go ahead.

“Would you hold my baby so I can go to the water closet?”

Shoot me, shoot me now.

“Of course, I would.”

The baby, who was asleep at this time, didn’t wake until Mummy closed the door of the loo. Then she woke up and must have realized I wasn’t Mummy. She let loose with a screaming fit.

Mummy’s trip to the loo was more than a quick pee. I ended up walking the baby up and down the aisle of the airplane for over ten minutes. The cowardly stewardesses were not to be found. How does one hide in a long aluminum tube?

Cast in Time Book 6 Available in June 2024!

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More details coming soon.

Earl E. (Ed) Nelson

I have always wanted to be an author. I had my first rejection slip in about 1965. Wish I had saved it. For many years the only writing I did was technical as pesky things like three children, nine grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren came along.

My technical writing was in the field of quality in several different journals. I worked in the field of quality for over fifty years, starting as a line inspector and ending up as a Vice-President of Quality and elected a Fellow of the American Society for Quality.

Then a wonderful thing happened. I lost my job and was out of work for almost eight months. To keep from going crazy I wrote. I posted my stories on an online site, and lo and behold people read them and said nice things. Fast forward about eight years and I am retired and writing for the fun of it.

A lot of what is in my stories is based on my life experiences, gasp! Give or take a lie or two that is. The one fortunate thing in my career is that I got to travel worldwide and have been to most of the locations I write about.

In my younger days, I tried hot air ballooning, sky diving, white water rafting, spelunking, and target shooting. I have collected stamps, drove in road rallies, lowly rated by the US Chess federation. I built a Kentucky long rifle and a dueling pistol. I am a licensed HAM radio operator. My hobby is having hobbies.

My true passion is reading. Trapped in a hotel room I would read the telephone book. The TV would not be turned on. I have averaged 200 books a year for the last sixty years. I knew those long flights were good for something.

BTW I was born in the middle of an air raid in England during World War II, the house next door was destroyed and our windows were blown out. That is probably the most interesting thing I have been involved with. Mum never forgave me. Happily married for 56 years I hope my wife doesn’t catch on to what a goof I am.